Some answers

We have found out this week that Emily has lymes disease. In one way I feel very relieved to know what is finally going on, in another I feel really bad because this one is a hard one to get rid of, especially since it has been going on in her since she was 2 or before. At her 2nd birthday she started waking up screaming at night that her knees hurt. She was also diagnosed with a heart murmur and anemia at that time. She quit eating well. We couldn't get her to eat much at all for quite a long period. She still doesn't eat much actually. We had her tested for all kinds of things. We looked for leukemia and arthritis as well as some blood conditions. Everything was negative and the Dr. gave us a diagnosis of growing pains.

Through the years I have often felt worried for Emily. She is very pale and her eyes are sunk in with dark circles under. She is always tired and never wants to do much. She frequently has knee pains and ankle pains and recently her elbows hurt too. Always joints. Through the years I have brought her to our naturopathic doctor and he has treated her for some different things. Whenever she is on any of his medicines she doesn't wake up with knee pains at all. In fact, one time we went 6 mo. without it. Currently she is on some of this treatments again but this time she is having bad pains. All during the day and at night. I brought her back and he tested for lymes and said she has it. He then sent us to the hospital for blood work to finalize it all.

We started treatment yesterday and I am hopeful that we are going to get this fixed for her and I'll have a normal, energetic, pain-free little girl back. I can't even imagine what it must feel like for her. You hear adults who can't handle the pain and it makes their lives debilitating. My poor Emily and she has suffered for so long.

Thank-you to those of you who have been praying for her. If you could keep her in your prayers that we could lick this that would be great. We are trusting God and know this happened for a reason if nothing than to just grow our faith.

God first right?

Do you ever feel like God is up to something big. You can feel it and sense in the way He is changing you but you just don't know what exactly He is wanting. That is exactly where I am at right now. Over and Over again He is showing himself to me in new ways...it has all happened to bring about change.

Let's chat about priorities. I've always known that my priorities are God, then husband, then kids, then others. I've thought that is how I have lived. That is how I meant to live anyway. Lately I have been shown that I am putting God/others together. I felt like I was serving God by serving others. Don't get me wrong, that is a way we can serve God but when it is happening at the expense of our husband and kids we have something mixed up. I struggle with people pleasing. Always have and probably always will. You know you have it wrong when you equate people pleasing with God. That is what I have been doing. I feel like I am being a "Godly woman" when I am pleasing others. Oh.. how wrong I have been. Our job is not to please others but to show them the way to Christ by living our lives in such a manner that they see the Christ in us and want Him for their own. How can that happen if we are always striving to please others. No, it comes by seeing strong marriages because we take the time and effort and have our boundaries set up so our husbands come 2nd in our lives. It comes by having healthy children and amazing relationships with them because we haven't cared what others thought about what committees we are in or how involved in other groups we are.

This thought is so new and freeing to me. I feel like I am walking on air. If it is a hardship on my husband or my kids I can decline and if I am judged it doesn't matter. I'm not living to please them.. only my God. He is most pleased with me when I am standing up for what is right for my family. Not that this is a free ticket to say no to everything because your kids might not want you to do something. Ultimately if God is in that #1 position we will feel a whisper or nudge in our spirit. I have found I can know if I'm supposed to do something with the presence or absence of peace I get from the decision. Don't be afraid to tell them you need time to pray about it when you are asked to be a part of something. There are so many needs out there. More than you can do alone. I have made a pact to prayerfully consider before I say yes to anything... also, since Joel is not a people pleaser and can say no without a single hint of guilt I also need to bring the request to him so he can help me see if it is going to hinder or grow our family.

This area will probably always be one I struggle in but with God's help and my husband's I hope to be able to set up healthy boundaries and overcome the guilt I feel when I say, "I can't right now." I strongly believe God has given me kids for me to raise and they are only little right now and I want to treasure and train and give them all of me. Not my leftovers.

I would love to hear how you guys balance this area in your lives if you would like to leave me a comment. It is so great to be growing and have others along with on this journey to sharpen one another in love. Thanks for your help.

My little man is two!!!

Oh how I love this litte man. I don't know how he can already be two. What a shock it was to have a boy after two little girls. I had no clue how very different they are. That things like saying, "vroom, vroom" for every machine that has an engine would come so early and so clear. Or the disaster he can put my house into within a 5 min. period.

I'm so grateful God saw fit for me to experience a boy. I love every minute of it!

Kenan-

I know that you are going to go on in life to do amazing things for God. You are going to be a warrior for His kingdom. I feel so priveleged that God gave you to us to train and equip. You truly are a blessing and I love you so much! Always know that you are special to God and to us our big blue-eyed boy.

Love-

Mommy

I have to admit, as if you guys don't know, I've been lacking in the blog world lately. Just busy with other things and most of the time my thoughts feel too jumpled to get them down in writing. You can imagine my excitement this morning when I found I had been given a Liebster award. I feel so honored. :-) It is a German word meaning dearest, beloved, favorite. So sweet! My cousin Veronica passed it onto me and you should all check out her blog. She has lots of great gluten free recipes and step by step pictures of how to make them. She also shares her heart for God and the lessons she is learning. Go check her out!

So here are the rules that go along with this award: The award is given to bloggers with less than 200 followers, to promote and encourage new friendships among the blog community.
Part of this award is to pass it on to others. Here are the rules:

1.Post the award on your blog.

2.Show your thanks to the blogger who gave you the award by linking back to them.

3.Reveal your 5 picks for the award and let them know.

4.Bask in the love from the most supportive people on the blogsphere... other bloggers.

5.Finally, the best rule of all, have fun and spread the love!

1. Beth from The Stamper Story. I've been blessed to actually know Beth. She is an amazing mother of 4 who is getting ready to leave for the mission field with her pastor husband. They went through a life changing ordeal last year when her husband almost lost his life due to an infection. She is also an amazing crafter and makes such adorable things that inspire me to be more creative. Go check her out!

2. Kara from Delicious Ambiguity. Kara is a friend from high school that I have kept in touch with. She has a great writing style and shares all the humor that goes on in her life with a very positive perspective.

3. Lindsay from Our lives in a Nutshell. I have only met Lindsay once.. because I was buying some of her amazing crafts from her, but even once let me know that her and I could be great friends! Lindsay is a kindred spirit. She is mommy to 4 little ones all the while working like crazy doing all kinds of things to help provide. She writes honestly and also with great humor. Check out her blog.. it is a sure way to make you laugh.

4. My sister Leah from In the hands of the master poet. Leah lives overseas in the UK and has a passion for serving God in whatever capacity that may be. She has traveled to Romania and Africa to work with orphaned babies as well as serving in mission roles in both Sweden and the UK. She is a very gifted writer who has even had some of her work published. Through her writing she will remind you how much God loves you and inspire you to make a difference. You should really check her out!

5. Missie at Fill My Thirst. Missie is a friend from my middle school days who I reconnected with a couple years ago. She has a deep heart for God and shares her struggles in a very real way. She is also a great photographer, and gives lots of fun craft ideas.

Happy New Year

It's that time of year again. Time to reflect on what was good and what wasn't so good about last year and try to improve. Every year I tell myself I have to try harder. I have to eat better, lose the weight, yell at my kids less, be more involved... the list goes on and on. Each year starts with a promise and ends in discouragment when once again I fail.

This year there is a glimmer of promise. God has allowed for me to become broken in many ways this year that I might turn to him and trust him and take my hands off the wheel. Through this process, and I'm very much still in the thick of it, I am learning I can do nothing.. trying harder won't get me anywhere.. I will fail. It's not through my strength but through His that any healthy and good change can be made in my life.

So this year I am praying to crave the fruits and veggies that my body so badly needs, I'm praying to keep my mouth shut more and let his spirit convict, I'm praying for him to show me where my priorities need to be and put up boundaries in all other areas so I'm not worn-out and I can be the best I can for where He needs me.

I read a really good post here, about how to trust God for your changes instead of yourself.

Happy New Year everyone! I pray that we can move beyond our fears of not being able to change to instead giving them to God and allowing Him to change us into what He wants us to become. That is where we will truly be free.