a Child's mind

Abby is amazing at her memory verses. Right now we are working on the books of the new testament. She is only reading little words so she is not reading this at all... it is all by memory.

Right now she is working on John 3: 14-16

Listening to her memorize and imprinting God's word on her heart reminds me and encourages me to keep persevering. Right now are the teachable moments, right now is the impressionable time, right now she thinks her mom is the smartest mom and will listen to anything I tell her. Right now the time counts. I need to make the most of it!

Kenan's 1 cont....

My sweet one year old!


He didn't know what to think of his cake. He is highy allergic to dairy so he couldn't have any frosting or whipped cream. He sure loved his berries though!

Kenan's 1

I blinked once and Kenan went from this tiny newborn baby... to this sweet, smiley big boy!




I can't believe my little boy is 1. Kenan is a bundle of energy. He is the busiest little boy I have ever met. He is into everything-- all the time. He is also the most smiley and happy little guy. He goes to anyone and especially favors his Uncle Jonah. He is such a gift and I can't stop thanking God for this little ray of sunshine he has given us.

Dear God-
Thank you so much for our Kenan. He truly is a delight. I pray that he will know immense love in his life... from the author of love. I pray he has a deep heart that desires to serve you in everything he does. Please teach him to have compassion and humility and to know grace and mercy and justice all equally. I pray blessings over his life and protection but most of all I pray your will for Kenan. Show him you.. see him Lord! Amen

Motherhood

Some days I find myself feeling so lost in what to be.... I know I'm a wife and mother and those are my jobs but how do I fulfill it? I find I get lost in these jobs and I lose the blessing of living in them. I have made a vow to God and myself and my family to not miss all these moments. Every moment needs to be a teaching moment. So much of it is in my attitude I am finding. I just have to change my perspective and not look at it as work.

I recently found this quote and I love it. I have it taped above my sink where I can read it throughout the day to remind myself. This job is important... and God knew I could do it and that is why He has given me these 3 shining faces to cherish.

"Mothers who are raising children are world changers. Believe it. There is no greater calling if God has given you children."

Thought provoking

"I am all around you, hovering over you even as you seek my face. I am nearer than you dare to believe, closer than the air you breathe. If My children could only recognize My Presence, they would never feel lonely again. I know every thought before you think it, every word before you speak it. My Presence impinges on your innermost being. Can you see the absurdity of trying to hide anything from Me? You can easily deceive other people, and even yourself; but I read you like an open, large-print book."

-a devotional that compiles Scripture and puts them in first person as if God's voice is speaking directly to you.

My Grandpa

My dear Grandpa passed away on Dec. 30th. It truly is a blessing as he has suffered with alzheimer's for the past 5 years and the man who once was has been gone from us for awhile, but it's still just so.....final. There are so many things about this man that I will miss. He LOVES babies so he and my grandma came to visit us in the cities a lot back when Abby was little.... before the disease took it's toll on his mind. They even came a few times after Emily but he was already suffering quite a bit by then. He did get to hold Kenan several times too. In fact, one time when we went to visit him at the nursing home he held Kenan and he told me, "please don't take him away from me." Several times he pleaded that with me... we did eventually have to take him and replace Kenan's body weight with a life size doll in his arms. It was so sad. To see a grown man who was once healthy and whole now not even knowing the difference between a baby doll and a real baby. He held 6 of his own-27 grandchildren and 6 great grand-children.

Alzheimer's is such an awful disease.. seeing it firsthand with my grandpa and the devastating effects it has on everyone is just such a horrible thing. I know my grandpa is now in heaven, seeing more than we can even begin to believe is our future for those who believe in God. I know he loves it there.


I haven't been to a lot of funerals, which is a good thing I guess, but my grandpa's was very special. The whole time I just felt such a feeling of peace and even awe. I don't know if it was the big stained glass windows in the church letting the sunlight streak in or just the presence of God there but it was so serene and unreal. After the seating of my parents and aunts and uncles they had all 27 (well, 26 since my sister was gone in Africa, but my sister-in-law Paula took her place) of us lay roses on my grandpa's body and see him one last time. They even had the great grandchildren do it too. It was a very loving picture to see Joel lift first Abby and then Emily to lay roses on their great grandpa. My next favorite part was that my little brother Caleb who is in the army presented the flag... the really neat thing about it is that my still living grandpa presented the flag to Caleb who then presented it to my grandma. Talk about a tear jerker. It was one of those things we'll never see again in our lives but was super neat to witness. The sermon from the pastor was also very special, and he cleary did the salvation message. The other neat thing was several grandchildren got up to talk and so did several of my aunts and uncles. My sister Leah (who was not there) wrote something and my little brother Jonah read it. My dad who is a funeral director also did this funeral as one last thing he could do for his dad so it was neat to see what he does all the time and understand this part of him.

My Grandpa was in the air force so he had military honors at his funeral. The 27 bullet salute at the end was very neat. Having Caleb's presence there made it all the more special.

I love you Grandpa and I'll miss you but I will see you again one day.. when their will never be another good-bye.

some pictures

I haven't been very good at updating with pictures recently so here are a few.... He is the messiest eater I have ever seen... every meal is like this! But he is so gosh darn cute! I can't believe my baby will be one in a week. A year ago I was so huge and overdue and thinking he would never come and I blinked once and he's now going to be one.


Emily with her sweet kitty Natalie. We had a bit of a tragedy here as T-Bone died on Christmas Eve. It was very sad for the girls and even me. We literally watched him fade and breathe his last breath. We prayed for a Christmas miracle but it just never came. We did get a miracle though in that Natalie would usually run and hide from us and we could never catch her and now since T-Bone's passing she loves us and wants to come inside and sit on her blanket all the time. She's turned into a very precious kitty.


Abby is still my diva... this little girl is so stunningly beautiful inside. The compassion she has for others and her gentleness just hit my soul. I love this little one!
Here they all are for Christmas



Here we all are! I'm so grateful for each and every one of these people God has seen put to have in my life.

New Year's Resolution

"Grace, by definition, is undeserved favor. It's giving good things to people who have done little or nothing to merit them. It's offering second...and third... and more chances to people who can't guarantee they've learned their lesson."---Donna Otto

This is a hard concept to me. I tend to be more justice oriented and really struggle with grace and mercy. Although in proverbs it talks about how mercy and justice must reign equally. Interesting.... It is just such a struggle to forgive that same offense again and again... or to look the other way when someone who "doesn't deserve" a free ride is getting one.

This year my one concept I am going to work on hard in my life and pray continuously for is to have Grace. I want to not judge what others are doing and not think everything has to be fair all the time. I get so caught up in the thought that if it's done for so and so it should be done for me as well. Then, when it doesn't come my way the bitterness rolls in. It is no way to live and definitely not for a productive Christian life. It's a joy stealer and a relationship breaker. I am going to live free from those feelings. I know I'm in for some hard times learning how to exhibit Grace all the time. I'm sure I will fail miserably sometimes but I'll get up and start again. That's what this walk with God is all about anyway!