I have been attending a ladies bible study the past months where we are reading a book about prayer. This section we are on now is particularly hard as it is about praying God's will. The thing I am realizing more and more lately though is as hard as that is, I want it. I want to pray it because I want it. No matter what that means. If I am not in God's will for my life than I want things to change. God is so very real! He is truly amazing and I just want more and more of him.
If two months ago someone would have told me that I need to pray God's will over the most important things in my life I would have laughed and told them they were crazy. Anyone who knows Joel and I know how insanely protective and worried we are about our kids health and safety. They are our babies and we feel such a need to protect them ourselves. All that does is create worry; lots and lots of worry. We can't do anything in our own strength and they are not ours to begin with. God gave them to us and they are His! Knowing this and knowing He is in control has been life changing as of lately. The worry has begun to fall away. I just feel different.
Like I said God is amazing and I don't know how I started to change. Lots of areas in me are changing and I like it. I didn't realize how many thoughts I didn't hold captive to Christ I had rumbling around in my head. What a difference prayer makes. Whenever I think something or feel something I shouldn't I just pray about it. Sometimes I want to be mad, hurt, bitter ect... and I just tell God that and ask him to help me. It is amazing. I wish I would have lived under his total control years ago. Our job here on earth is to reach as many people we can with the gospel and get as many people to heaven with us we can. In order to do that our lives need to reflect God. I don't want to be the petty, bitter person holding on to wrongs that I feel were done against me. Nor, do I want to be the nagging wife, or the worried mom, or the one who has to fit in to be popular. I want something different and I am going for it!
1 comment:
Nicely put! And I'm glad you're feeling a peace around you. It really does feel awesome to REALIZE that you're not the one in control and that you can stop worrying about stuff all the time. He's got it all under His wings for us. He wants to see how we react to what He give us.
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